The problem with commitment of our male counterparts is something that has been around since time immemorial. It is something that women have been grappling with for generations. We generally find it relatively easy to start dating the men. However, the challenge comes in making them want to move beyond this stage. As a result, the relationships usually cause no little frustration to many ladies.
However, you should know that it takes two to tango. Although we often blame the men for their indecisiveness, the fact is that we are also partly responsible for such an outcome. The problem comes from the fact that we usually just wait for the men to propose. While it is true that they are the ones who should do this, there are actually a number of salient steps you can take to help in bringing positive change in your relationship.
1. Avoid ultimatum
One of the commonest and biggest mistakes that we do is to tell the men our interests. After some time, we tend to give the men only two options – they either decide to make the move, or else…
Unfortunately, such an ultimatum will make your boyfriend feel like a cornered animal. He will react in defense, and you will lose the ensuing struggle. No one really likes to be pressured, especially a man. Some will simply walk out – for good.
2. Show but don’t tell him
Even those of us who do not resort to threats usually think that it is only reasonable to make the men aware of our feelings. So you may keep talking about your desire of getting into a life-long commitment. You may even talk about the things you would like to do together, including having kids.
Unfortunately, this is a method that tends to irritate the men. You should avoid any talk about marriage, or even the things you would like to do together in the near future.
It is not just talking about marriage that will drive away your boyfriend. You should avoid anything that brings the issue of marriage to mind. For instance, don’t make it a habit of buying magazines dealing with the topic and leaving them lying around. This is not the way to show the man your interest.
Instead, you will show him that you are not contemplating marriage, at least not any more. Avoid the topic all together. This will show him that your life is not tied down to his, and you have your own plans to consider.
3. Watch your words
Of course it is inevitable that there will be times that you will need to talk about the future. In such an event, you should talk about your future in singular. Do not give the impression that you are including him in that future of yours.
4. Know the limit
Now that you know that you should be focusing on yourself, you should not overdo it either. You should not take it to the point that it appears as if you enjoy your single life so much so that you will brook no interference.
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